A MESSAGE FROM SHERIDAN
I wrote a series of articles that talk about my life in
the United States before moving to France to now
and everything in between.
I hope you enjoy the read !
Sheridan xx
MY LIFE THEN…
As many of you know, I lived in North Carolina in the United States before moving to France. Life in the U.S. is quite different than France in many ways, and I will talk about those in another article.
A year ago, I was in college at Florida State University getting ready to go on Spring Break with my best friends. The week leading up to spring break was absolute chaos. Covid-19 had started to spread quickly across the globe and created so much uncertainty within each country. Classes had been moved from in-person to online, and after my friends and I left our house, we were told that all the students couldn’t return to the university. My friends and I didn’t realize it would be the last time we saw each other.
Fast forward to May 2020. I was finally able to pack my things and move out of my house at the university. 2. Months. Later. On May 2, 2020, I graduated from Florida State University, virtually. One of the biggest milestones in my life was done virtually, and at the time I was really sad.
But everything happens for a reason, and I received my acceptance letter for my job in France ! During the summer, everything was closed except for essential businesses like grocery stores, pharmacies, etc. In the United States, the President doesn’t have a lot of power ; the Governor of the States determines the laws for the states,
not the President. So, each state had different rules for Covid-19 and Black Lives Matter protests. In some counties in North Carolina, there was a 6 p.m. curfew because of the BLM protests.
Today, there are still a lot of regulations for Covid-19 in the U.S., but not as strict as France…
…MY LIFE NOW
On October 20, 2020, I gave my two weeks to my boss at my job at the time. My last work day was scheduled for November 6, then I would catch a flight to France November 7.
My teacher correspondent in Dormans texted me to say that France was going into another lockdown beginning November 2 and that I should get to France ASAP. So, I quit my job immediately and took the next flight to France on October 31 !
Since I’ve moved here, there have been many ups and downs. I wasn’t overwhelmed with being in a foreign country by myself, in fact, I enjoy it. Everyone I’ve encountered since being here have made some kind of impact on my life, big and small. The adjustment from the States to France was easier because of these people.
At first, it was difficult making friends because of the lockdown. I work at a school in Épernay and I met my first French friend there. His name is Erwan, and he is a French assistant and an amazing person with a big heart. For Christmas break, my teacher correspondent invited me to a family dinner in Paris to celebrate the holidays. I’m so glad I went because so many friendships have grown from that one trip. I see my Paris friends every other weekend and play football with my Erwan every chance we get.
As far as work, I love where I work. The teachers are fantastic and so helpful and the students are so fun to be around. They always know how to make me smile, even when I’m not having the best day ! I decided to renew my English assistant contract so hopefully I’m able to stay here and teach at the same schools for the 2021-2022 academic school year !
For the future, I decided to pursue a Master’s Program and become a permanent English teacher in France !
CONFINEMENT THOUGHTS
When I first arrived in France at the beginning of November 2020, I was honestly just happy to be here. I still am, of course, but even with the confinement I didn’t care that I was locked in my apartment for the majority of the month. Everything was so new and shiny that confinement for me wasn’t a thing. I followed the rules and made an attestation for every time I left my apartment for the one hour a day we were allowed to be outside, and I stayed within the 1 km range. I did everything right to stay on the French governments good side, because you know, things happen.
I was ok with constantly being alone, at the time. It wasn’t until the end of November that it really started to hit me : the feeling of loneliness and slowly going into a psychotic breakdown. After being at my university constantly surrounded by my best friends, always being extroverted and then coming to France and it just being me, myself and I, it started to get to me mentally.
At the end of November, the French government decided to tease us with the light at the end of the tunnel : the possibility of no more attestations and the freewill to travel beginning December 15. My friend, Erwan, and I were counting down the days until the 15. We were slowly going insane. Only being able to go to work and come home, with the exception of going grocery shopping and other essential tasks, can really begin to weigh on someone.
On top of the confinement, I was seeing snapchat stories and Instagram posts of all my friends back home in the states having the time of their lives, following Covid guidelines of course. Everything in the U.S. was open, and it still is, honestly even more so now in March than in November. I was jealous, I still am to be honest. I miss the freedom of being able to do whatever, whenever and without a mask.
Back to my “confinement thoughts”, I questioned EVERYTHING. Is this really necessary ? Is confinement actually helping or is it just something the government is testing ? When will we stop wearing the masks ? Does anyone else feel the same way I do, or am I crazy ? These are questions I still don’t have answers for.
Q & A
1. Have you been to France before ? What were your thoughts ?
So, this isn’t my first time in France. I took French classes in the Institut Catholique in Paris during the Summer of 2019. It was peak tourist season and the h o t t e s t summer ever. The temperature was like 104 degrees Fahrenheit, 40 degrees Celsius. It was toasty, I thought I was going to die of heat stroke every day. Parisians are an interesting breed of people. During that summer, I encountered a lot of annoyed French people, which is understandable because there were millions of clueless tourists wandering the city of Paris. After being yelled at by multiple French people for just existing and not being able to understand what they were saying, I created an image in my head and stereotyped all French people. Of course, there are nice people in this world, but I had just gotten the short end of the stick and lucked out with the Parisians.
2. Ok, so you had one bad experience. How do you feel now ?
Fast forward to returning to France almost a year and a half later, I completely erased my bad experiences from that summer and decided to come France with a clear head and an open-mind. Everyone I’ve met since my arrival have been nothing but amazing. The teachers at the three schools I work at are beyond helpful and interesting to talk to. They make me feel important, even though I’m just an assistant. The students always put a smile on my face, no matter how tired I am or if it’s just one of those days.
3. Do you like the region ? Is it what you expected ?
Ok, so in all honesty, I was not expecting to be in the countryside. I was completely open to living where ever in the region. When I was picked up at the airport and brought to my apartment, the Headmaster at the school in Dormans asked me if I’ve ever been in the countryside. I haven’t. I’ve really only lived in cities, not big cities like New York or Paris, but just cities in general. So, this is very different than how I’ve lived in the past, but again, I came to France with an open-mind and have taken everything life has given me with gratitude and appreciation. I love this area. Like I said, I’ve met some of the most amazing people here, and I feel like if I were somewhere else, it would be a completely different experience !
4. So, do you speak French or not ?
I’ve gotten this question from quite literally every single student of my mine. Truthfully, no, not really. I can yes, enough to survive in France and maybe general conversation, but I am far from fluent.
When I first arrived in France, I only knew the bare minimum. You know like Bonjour, ça va, je voudrais, au revoir, etc. Four months later, yes I’ve only been here for four months, I’m able to kind of hold a conversation, and I can understand people a lot better, if they speak slow. I can read French fine off a piece of paper and understand it and I can write in French at a decent level too.
With confinement and general Covid restrictions, like the couvre feu, it made it difficult to fully immerse myself and learn the language. I’ve been grateful enough to have French friends in Paris and Épernay, so they help me a lot with French. So many people in my English assistant program have asked me why I don’t hang out with anyone in the program, and my response is always the same :
I moved to France to learn the language, the culture and to be friends with French people.
5. Has it been difficult for you with learning the language ?
I’ve always wanted to be able to speak French. I have my degree in French. I love the language, the culture and the mindset. At my university, I took all my classes in French and most of them had some Masters students too. The Masters students intimidated me because they were fluent and I wasn’t, so it was difficult for me since I wasn’t confident. Even when I studied in Paris during the summer, I still wasn’t confident. But since my arrival in this area, everyone has been so understanding, patient and they don’t make me feel overwhelmed when trying to speak the language. I literally talk to random people on the street, in French, when I’m walking around.
Learning a language takes time, and speaking and understanding are the most difficult components of languages. I’m sure my student can attest to this with learning English. But, with patience, we can progress.
6. Do you miss your family ?
Actually, I get this question a lot, mostly from teachers and adults. Of course, I miss my family, but I hate living with them. Let me explain. If I was younger and still in middle school or high school, I would have to live with them and it would be ok. But I’m 23 years old, freshly out of college and ready to be on my own. Even coming home from college was a pain, because I had a taste of what it was like to be independent.
I talk to my mother and sister every day, even if it’s just sending weird emojis to each other or listening to my sisters voice memos on snapchat about her complaining about college roommate. My dad and I talk, just not every day. That’s just how our relationship has always been, but we do text/call once a week.
I miss my kitties a lot. When I would come home from college, I would bury my face in their fur and play with them all the time. I’m actually allergic to cats and dogs, fun fact. But I don’t care. I still play with animals, even in France. People always ask me, “Sheridan, if you’re allergic, break out in hives and constantly itch your arms, why continue to pet animals ?” My response,
“Why would I stop doing something that makes me happy ? Now, let me take my allergy medicine.”
But the thing I miss the most : my friends. For me, it’s not difficult to make friends, in fact I love meeting new people and I always force myself to talk to new people in group settings. However, finding people that you have a natural connection with is hard to come by. My best friend, Brenda, lives in Miami, Florida and we talk every day. We were roommates my junior year of college, and lived in the same house our senior year, with 55 other girls. Keri, my other best friend, lives in Austin, Texas, but since her work is online, she’s moving to Hawaii because why not ? My other friends live all over Florida, and when we were in college, we would do E V E R Y T H I N G together. I had a lot of different friend groups for different things I liked to do : a group to go study at the library with, to go to the pool with or to go to music festivals with.
Thankfully, I’ve made a few friendships here in France from a natural connection, and I’m grateful every day for them !
LET’S TALK ABOUT MUSIC…
Ok, so. My favorite thing in the entire world is music. I love music more than my cats, and I love my kitties A LOT ! One of the things I miss the most are music festivals, but because COVID they can’t really happen at all right now.
Quick side note : I listen to music for the beats, not the words.
A lot of my favorite and worst moments in my life involved music. Music has helped me to get to where I am and who I am today. I love meeting new people and learning about their music tastes because 1. I make a new friend, 2. I add new music to my playlists and 3. It gives me a glimpse of their personality ! There are soooooo many different genres of music, and not everyone is a fan of some. For example, I really don’t like rap music (sorry to those who do), HOWEVER, I do enjoy some songs/rappers (Post Malone, Travis, sometimes Drake and Mac Miller). When I first came to France and listened to the French rap… my ears hurt because I couldn’t understand what they were saying and it’s just a lot of unnecessary aggressiveness. But its ok now, I really enjoy French rap… I still have no idea what they’re saying, but it’s fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine.
Here are a few of my fav French artists : Koba LaD (5H55 absolute BANGER : could listen to this on repeat), Niska (Siliconé), OBOY (Cabeza), SCH (Haut Standing & Champs-Élysées ) and Zola (Astroboy). The beats of these songs are so cool and different than American rap. My fav song right now is Les Princes by MZ (another BANGER).
Anyways, I love going to music festivals, especially with my best friends. Like, I’ve been to too many to count (EDC Orlando, Lost Lands and so many others). The carefree environment is just awesome. It’s like when you walk into the festival you can choose to be whoever you want and no one judges you… like the real world doesn’t exist and you’re in an alternate reality. This kind of environment has really helped me embrace who I am as a person and my weirdness and has allowed me to be carefree in real life too ! It’s truly amazing ! I miss festivals so much. So much of my money goes towards festival tickets, it’s a problem.
What kind of music do you like ?
I love so many genres of music, but mostly its Indie/Alternative, EDM, French rap or music for drives in the car with the windows down (this is called range meaning I listen to a lot of different types of music). My music taste depends on my mood and most of my playlists I create reflect my mood in that moment, so in the future, if I feel the same mood, I can go back to the playlist and enjoy myself !
Who are your favorite artists ?
To be honest, I really don’t have a favorite artist. The songs I find on Spotify are because I get lost on the music radios and just find random amazing music by small artists. (Spotify is the best thing to ever exist, I’m sorry Apple music lovers).
If you want to listen to my playlists and get a better understanding of what I mean about my mood playlists, you are more than welcome to !
My Spotify : sheridanduma
ANY ADVICE FOR US ?
Recently, one of my students from another collège came to me after class and asked me how I’m so confident. I asked her why because I noticed her timid body language and sensed that there was a deeper reason as to why she would ask such a question. She went on to say that she wasn’t happy with herself, and she said she wanted to be more like me because I do and say whatever I want without regret and I’m genuinely happy.
The reason I’m even telling any of you this is because I know she’s not the only one who is struggling. Guys and girls struggle and its ok. When I was your age in middle school and high school, I struggled with this a lot. I cared SO MUCH about what others thought about me and it really effected how I saw myself in the mirror. I was absolutely miserable, like there are no words to describe it.
If I had any advice to give any of you it would be :
STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU
Many of you think I’m like a dinosaur who doesn’t know who XXXTENTACION is, HOWEVER, I am HAPPILY 23 years old, thank you very much. At my age, I am genuinely content with who I am and where I’m at today because I stopped caring about what other people think/thought about me. It took me almost my entire life to get here because I was literally so obsessed with other people’s opinions about me. Once I stopped caring and started doing things that make me happy, I’ve been living my best life. I live in France. I go to the park almost every day to feed my favorite duck, his name is Gerald. He isn’t like most ducks, he’s chubby and majestic. I bought a pair of roller skates because my Canadian friend inspired me to and I knew they would make me happy. Now, I do a lot of things that might be really weird to most people, but it makes me smile and I love myself.
I know at your age, this advice is easier said than done, and most of you will continue to care about others opinions. However, there will be one day in the future ; it may not be tomorrow, next month or 2 years from now, but there will be one day where you will be able to start to live your life genuinely happy and carefree !
Here’s a pic of Gerald :
